I have known her for at least 15 years but we were never been formally introduced. She is the hostess at a Chinese restaurant where I would eat lunch once a week with friends from work. I am not sure how she and I came to know each others names but we did. I have always had a difficult time understanding her broken English so needless to say our conversations have always remained very simple and brief. I know that she is a couple of years older than me and has two kids; our daughters are the same age. She is a single mother. I am happily married.
I changed jobs several years back and do not see her nearly as often. One evening last year I stopped at the restaurant with my daughter to pick up some carry out and was surprised to find Anna working that late in the day. She was different that night and was trying very hard to tell me something important. She showed me the inside of her arm and told me that she was undergoing dialysis. I have never known anyone that had kidney failure or what the prognosis could be. I went home and did some Google research. It appears that the only long term solution is to have a kidney transplant. I did not sleep very well that night.
I went back for lunch a couple of weeks later and tried to determine just how serious her condition was; hoping that she would tell me that it was manageable or that she would receive a transplant from a family member. Although she looked better than she did the last time I saw her it was only because it was an off day for her dialysis. She did need a transplant.
Over the next five or six months I stopped in now and then for lunch. I guess I was waiting for her to tell me some good news or something to make my conscience feel better. She never did. On the contrary I learned that she and I have compatible blood types. I am sure that she knew what I was contemplating. Blood type compatibility rarely comes up in casual conversation with people that speak the same language. How was I going to tell my wife that I wanted to donate a vital organ to Anna? My wife is an amazing person and took it much better than I expected. We both agreed that I could only do it as long as it did not jeopardize my job. I got the approval from my employer for me to have time off to recover as long as I exhausted my vacation and utilized short term disability.
Anna gave me the contact information for her Transplant Coordinator. I tried calling several times but would always end up leaving voice mail messages. It took several phone calls and e-mails before I finally received a call back. I went to the hospital and underwent the blood work to determine if I could be a living donor for Anna. I received an e-mail back a week later telling me that although I was a match for Anna I could not donate to her because she was sensitized. I understand that this has something to do with her body that would most likely cause it to reject my kidney.
I recently read an article about a kidney swap program at John’s Hopkins and asked Anna to check with her coordinator to see if this was an option for us. I don’t think that she is getting the information nor the attention that she deserves from her coordinator and I am certain that it is because of the language barrier. I assume the medical privacy laws are the reason that they do not respond to me. I do know that she will not live long without a transplant.
I pray for her daily and see her periodically. She is very sick and takes dialysis several times a week while working incredibly long hours. Her daughter has recently been diagnosed with some serious medical conditions. I would help her any way that I can, I am just not sure how. That is why I am posting this blog, hoping that you can help me help Anna.
